Trigger Warning
A Special Operations Engineer in Afghanistan
Nathan Bolton
Newport, NSW: Big Sky Publishing, 2024
Paperback 400pp RRP: $32.99
Reviewer: Adrian Catt, December 2024
I had a strong feeling that I was really going to savour this book, and it did not disappoint!
Arranged in chapters, the forward half of the book focuses upon the amazing service career of author and subject Nathan Bolton and his two tours of Afghanistan as a Special Forces soldier with the Special Operations Engineer Regiment (SOER). His role included detecting and removing improvised explosive devices (IEDs) from the path of Special Forces troops and vehicles as they patrol, and from hostile compounds which had been raided. The second half of this riveting book drills down in considerable depth into the psychological, behavioural and lifestyle challenges, failures and accomplishments of a warrior pushed to breaking point.
Nathan is frank about his demons, his downward spiral, his hurt, despair and bad living. He sought help and fought within himself, as well as against several therapists, until he discovered that deep inside, he was conflicted by his personal values as against those of his military conditioning. He had a desperate need to feel love, pride, and acceptance, particularly from his father.
Nathan fell too many times after his experiences of being blown-up by an IED whilst inside a Bushmaster Armed Protective Vehicle (APV), shot at by enemy snipers, and seeing too many of his close warrior mates maimed or killed, all whilst performing the deadly game of finding and removing IEDs in Afghanistan. Nathan confined his negative emotions and hurt in a ‘black vault’ within himself and wanted to end his grief at his own hand. Nathan later had an epiphany.
Nathan spoke on two occasions a few years apart, to teenagers and staff at a secondary college, but broke down after the first visit; the second time he was more resilient, but it was a ‘work-in-progress’ nonetheless. Nathan failed at relationships and employment, and for ten years his life was in a parlous state until he teamed-up with Daniel, one of his brothers, and they restored their father’s old racing side-car motorbike Bolton Wasp, and entered a 24-hour race in two consecutive years, with significant beneficial outcomes for Nathan.
Nathan had attempted the gruelling Special Air Services (SAS) selection course twice, passing on the first attempt, but missing out due to the limited number of candidates allowed to progress. He was crushed when he returned for his second attempt only two weeks after returning from deployment; spent - he had very little ‘in the tank’, and withdrew part-way into the course, devastated.
Finally diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and depression, Nathan’s experiences and insight are valuable lessons for him and others (especially service personnel) with mental health issues. Nathan forensically and logically dissects and explains his discoveries of his life-threatening predicament, and how ‘finding his tribe’ brought him the love and acceptance he so craved to hear and feel to make a recovery: He even teamed up with Daniel to form Bolton Brothers – a special outfit focussed on men’s mental health.
This marvellous story will greatly help PTSD sufferers, their families and friends to better understand the ramifications, both good and bad, for those living with the condition, and the most positive impacts we can have to help them regain or manage their precious lives.
Thanks, respect and dignity are elements which are missing from the lives of some service personnel returned from campaigns from Vietnam, through Timor, Afghanistan and Iraq; these people need to be thanked and appreciated individually. Let’s put it right!
There are not enough superlatives to describe Nathan Bolton’s story; spinetingling, sad and surprising do come to mind; superb says it better.
The RUSI – Vic Library is most grateful to the publishers for making this work available for review.